What does it truly mean to be called to do something or be someone? What kinds of sacrifices are you and I willing to make to be the people we are called to be? What have you or I been called to be but haven't answered that call? These are just some of the things going through my mind lately. Some are called to be doctors, teachers, stay at home parents, and the list goes on and on. Some people are chosen by God himself to have the blessing of being able to have children of their own. Some people are called to be missionaries and pastors. I sit and ponder these questions often. Sometimes life isn't handed to us on a silver platter, sometimes life comes at you at 90 miles per hour. Are you ready? Am I ready?
I don't think I can stress enough that when someone is called to be someone or do something God is calling you for a purpose. In these purposes sometimes there are tears that are shed and sometimes there are moments where you don't understand why it's all happening the way you never imagined life would turn out. When we as people look on others lives and think we have it all figured out, or when they are called to be someone completely different we sit here and judge them and look at them like they are crazy.
If you would have asked me 6 or more years ago what I wanted in life I would have told you to be a wife, and a mother. I got the wife part but the mother of a biological child has not been in my cards that God has given me. I was called later on to adopt. I will say this, that this road is not an easy road to travel. It is not an ideal way, for most, to start a family. It is a road that has a lot of bumps and a ride that most of the time you want to get off of. On this journey I have found myself asking is this the right thing for me? What is God thinking I am not worthy enough to do this job? Then he reminds me that I am not alone. I am not called to venture out on my own and that He is always there to guide me and carry me through anything and everything.
In my experience with adoption people always say they are for those who can do it but then again they act as if that's not the case. They look down on birth families for giving up their children and how can someone do that. I will admit before fully having my eyes opened I felt that way. Before I tried putting myself in their shoes. It is a road that these people have to travel and it is a heartbreaking one. One that most people cannot even imagine. I look at my three children that I have. Two that are currently adopted and one that will be shortly and I cannot imagine the questions my third one (we will call him P) is feeling. He is 8 and is aware that his life is about to change in a way that he wasn't prepared for. I was not aware of how my life will turn out and I put my trust in the Lord to lead me down the road I am called to face. This little boy has to experience things beyond most people's comprehension.
My son P has been called in a way that can help hundreds of children, but right now doesn't feel that way to him. Right now it feels to him like he is losing a life he knew so well and a life that he isn't/wasn't prepared to have swiped right from under him. I can completely see how people would take a negative stance on adoption after reading this part. But see you have to look and see where he was to where God has brought him. God has a plan for his life, a calling for his life. A calling that I am not called to fulfill but by following the call God placed in my life I am helping my 8 year old fill his calling in the future. No matter how many times I am uncertain of my future and his future I know that once my son lets God in and take over and be in complete control of his life P will do great and amazing things.
So the sacrifices that I have had to make for these children in my home and now deep in my heart and that are my life I would say are were more than worth it. I would give these children the world if I could. Like any parent I too have my struggles and frustrations with the children and their behavior but to see the work God has for these children is just mind blowing. To see where these children will go and how far God will take them makes it a path in my life that I can survive and continue to do.
"Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things you will never stumble." 2 Peter 1:10
