Christianity=Judgemental

       So I just read a shared picture on facebook that said "sometimes the nicest people you meet are covered in tattoos and someties the most judgemental people you meet go to church on sundays."  It got me thinking, I know it can be very dangerous.  Is it that Christians are judgemental or is it that we just have higher standards for what is deemed acceptable?  Could it be that we are just following what Christ has considered the best way to live?  Why is it that when people who are a worldly people bash those who are believers and we just have to take it, but when we as believers just proclaim Gods truth we are hypocrits or judgemental?  I know me as a christian struggle and ask for help daily.  I do not accept the sinful things of this world but I accept the people that are in it.  I don't have to form to the patterns of this world to be happy or to fit in.  If that makes me judgemental then so be it.  Does that make me a bad person I would say not.  It makes me an individual and a person that will not be known as a conformist.  I only need to fit in with one person and that is God of all the Heavens and Earth.  He is the only one I am accountable to and for.  I will proclaim that my God is not dead and that He is and always will be alive.  That is something amazing that He always was, is and is to come.  Jesus is the reason why I can smile and be happy regardless of my circumstances.

going back to that first love

             It all starts with a feeling.  A feeling of happiness, joy, nervousness and excitement.  The feeling of being passionate about someone you never thought would happen.  The moment your spirit feels content the world seemed to just stand still. That moment when you no longer wear your heart on the inside but instead it's on your sleeve.  That first love I had since the beginning of my life.  He is my best friend, my protector, my supplier of all my needs.  I am not talking about a mire man.  I am talking about my Heavenly father who created me with all He has.  Have you ever had a love so deep that you can't help but cry when you talk to that special someone?  I know I have because you know He cares for me and He has my best interest at heart.
              Having Him in my life I feel like I can do anything through Him that has given me strength and confidence to do so.  With that also comes a humility that no one can understand unless they experience this love.  I could not do anything without Him and without His perfect will.  I may not have certain things in my life that I once dreamed would be but what God has planned for my life is much greater than anything I could have expected.  This road I have to travel is not all roses and cushy, and full of rays of sunshine.  There are days where it feels like nothing is going right and days where that saying comes to play is "when it rains it pours".  No one should ever tell you that the plan God has for you and following your first true love will be easy.  It is far from and there are moments where there will be unanswered prayers and questions you may have that affect us here on earth.
               Now having all these hardships can cause one of two things, it can make us a stronger person, or it can push us away from learning the truth on what God has for our life.  I have not had a life filled with joy and happiness without having hardships, troubles, and heart ache.  I have personally failed at remember how deep that love can truly get.  It is a shame that I forgot but it's because "life" got too busy.  But what's the most important thing in my life?  More specifically who should be the most important person in my life? My first love should always be the one I think about.  The one I consult with everything.  God just wants us to be closer to him and give Him all we are and all we have and with that He will do amazing things. Things we couldn't imagine would ever happen to us because when we sacrifice for Him, He is faithful to those who put Him first.

Two years

         My daughter will be two, TWO.  How can two years fly by so quickly.  It seems like only a few months have gone by.  I have been noticing how much older she has become not just because her birthday is coming up but the way she looks, acts, and even how to plays with toys.  She is becoming an independent little girl who knows what she wants in life and there is no stopping her.  Nora is a girl that once she sets her mind on something she is going to get it.  Now I love that about her to a degree of course because when I ask her not to do that she does it anyway because she wants to and that's all there is to it.  Nora is a package, a package well lets say, that if opened there is no returning it.  She is a sweet little person that has such a big heart.  When she smiles her entire face lights up.  She is a precious person and one that I would not give back for anything.  I can see her doing great things as long as that temper of hers doesn't over shine her big heart. 

        Did I mention she was a red head?  Now I know that it doesn't technically have anything to do with the color of ones hair to determine ones personality.  I really think it's that saying that red heads have a temper and it's a fiery one, that parents just tend to tell their children that so that's how the child acts.  Who knows maybe it does and I just don't believe that.  Anyway for as sweet as this child can be she can be just as stubborn.  She is the light of our lives and we want her to flourish in a way that is pleasing to God.  We want her to grow up reaching people her father and I never could.  If you would have come to me two years ago telling me we would be having a little girl who we would love so much that we would give our lives for her I would have thought you were crazy.  

          We had our first son and we were happy with where things were.  I knew I wanted more but I never would have thought my two children would be 14 months apart in age.  Having them that close was definitely a fun experience for our family.  They are so close in age that they grow up and they will always have that friend (hopefully for life).  I say hopefully because you just never know how life will turn out but as of now I can tell you those two are inseparable.  I love having them so close in age because they learn from each other and they learn, good things and bad, but none the less my children have definitely learned how to work with other children.  

          Back to my daughter though, I would have to say that God has chosen this little girl for our family in a way that my husband and myself never could have imagine.  She may not be from a genetic standpoint with how she is ours, but she is ours regardless of DNA.  What makes her ours is that we would give our lives for her, we would put ourselves on the back burner for her until it's time for her to flourish on her own.  Our daughter has definitely given us a run for our money when it comes to persistence and everything that comes along with having a daughter.   I can say this about our daughter that whatever she decides to do with her life you better believe she will accomplish it.  She has a lot of will power and I can also say watch out world because in 16 short years my daughter will be gunning for you.  That is my spunky little girl and I am proud of her even at the small age of two she has a lot of promising potential that when unleashed it will be difficult to rein back in.  The only thing I have to say is look at that face....it definitely says it all.

When is it okay.........

            So I have struggled with being a mom of an older child.  My husband and I have sat and talked through what we find for certain activities for their ages.  So lets just use Facebook as an example.  We have an 8 year old and we want him to learn things that are age appropriate and such but we also want to keep him safe.  Do we let him have a Facebook page to let him have freedom?  Well my thing is with Facebook is that one it's very public so whatever you post can have unexpected repercussions for you.  Such as legal ramifications depending on age.  Sometimes it might be just a safety thing.  Not just that Facebook has their own legal requirement which I think is a great idea.
         At the age of 13 you learn more of what's right and what's wrong.  You will learn more about rules and consequences.  Not just that but you learn about the dangers of your actions, words, and sometimes your photos.  So my husband and I have talked through this and we think it's weird that a parent would lie about their child's age just to get them an account.  Some may argue it's to stay connected with family and they monitor their usage etc.  But what are you in the long run teaching your child, to bend the rules just to get what you want.  So will you find it acceptable if your child is, lets say 15 or so and they get a fake ID to go drinking would you be okay with that?  I mean in all honesty isn't that what you kind of did for your child to get on the social network that can easily be hacked and pedi-files looking at their photo's or chatting with them?  Yes kids under the age of 13 are not (hopefully not) drinking and what not  but where do you draw the line.  It's like monkey see monkey do right.  They do what you do and sometimes they do what you don't want them to because they still see you doing it.
             I want my child to have the freedom to enjoy life and not have to be thrown into a life where they expect them to grow up faster than they should.  My 8 year old will not have a Facebook account until he is at least 13 years old if not older because he is not ready for that kind of responsibility.  I just read something today that grandparents will no longer receive handwritten letters from their grandchildren it will be through text, email, or Facebook.  That saddens me to think that children are going to be growing up in a day in age where they wont be able to practice writing because it's all online.  I can say I enjoy getting emails and such but what really means a lot to me is to receive a letter or card via mail.  To see that people would go that extra mile to write on it, fill out the address line and stick it in the mailbox.  Call me old call me sentimental but to me to make someone feel worth something to you is to go that extra mile and not just do something because it's easy and only take 2 seconds as appose to 5 minutes.  If you cannot spare 5 minutes out of your day then something should change.  
            So my son will not have parents who will lie for him just to have his own access to a world he is not prepared for.  Why rush your child into a situation they aren't prepared for or put them in unnecessary danger when they will have plenty of opportunity the older they get?  If you have an account for your child that is under the age of 13 that's your choice and a personal decision but for me and my household we want our child to know that there are rules in place for a reason and sometimes we may not like it but it's life.  I know there are rules as an adult I could live without but we still have to follow them regardless of our feelings towards them.

fell in love

          We have all heard the saying, don't forget the reasons you fell in love with someone.  I have been thinking about that today and I cannot help but think how that is true.....to an extent.  Those of us that are in a relationship and find the love of our lives we think we are fortunate to get that opportunity.  Well I agree we should remember why we fell in love with that person, however what do we do when that person is no longer the person we fell in love with?  That's where being in there for better for worse comes in.  Sticking with that person through thick and thin.
           I cannot wait to grow old with the love of my life and be able to experience things so many of us will not be able to because we gave up on our marriage.  I love my husband with all of my heart and with all that I am.  I have loved him for as long as I can remember.  My life without him would not be the same and I wouldn't have it any other way.  We as people forget that once we get what we want, in this case the person we love, we don't feel the need to keep trying.  We don't see the need to keep finding ways to make our spouses happy.  It's a difficult road and a road that will ultimately be less traveled than that of the world we now know.
           I was thinking today how many marriages could be saved with couples trying to not only remember what made them fall in love in the first place, but finding new reasons to love the one they are with.  What if we start asking ourselves questions during the day such as, what would my spouse appreciate today?  What would speak volumes to him to let him know that I couldn't help but think of him?  What can I do to keep spontaneity in my marriage?  A relationship cannot survive on routine and just going through the motions.  We need to show our loved ones who comes first and who means the world to us.  What if we ask questions such as who is my spouse now and what are his likes and dislikes?  We need to keep communication open and honest.  Once the communication goes there goes the key to the window of your loved ones heart.  If we allow that window to close even the slightest there is always a bird that can slide in and start making a home where it doesn't belong.
          Are you doing all you can to show your spouse that they are the reason your love exists?  I know I can work on how my love shows through and I know there are always days where I slack on spontaneity.  I want to strive to keep my marriage alive and living a life where other people can naturally see the love and bond between my husband and myself.   Now I know how hard marriage can be and I know how difficult it is when we add children into the mix, but when you have struggles and tough times that speaks to your character as an individual and also as a couple.  I don't want people thinking I am anti-divorce that's not it at all.  If you have tried all that you can and you still cannot move passed your differences and your spouse cheated or was abusive that is an entirely different story.  I am just pro-marriage and remembering the reason and making new reasons why you love the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
          There was a reason you chose to spend your life with that person in the first place.  There is a reason why you wanted them to be the parent of your child(ren).  They cannot be all bad if they stole your heart in the first place.
     

old school for the new school

Raising children is hard. When I was a child we were taught to be respectful, to be self entertained, and most of all seen and not heard. Now I cannot complain because of how I was raised I would say I am a better person for it! It gave me a sense of respect for not only older people but even people from my own generation. It taught me how to not have to rely on people to keep me entertained or keep me busy. I think the rule of being seen and not heard also gave us an advantage to be able to observe how one should and should not interact with others. You can learn so much that way.
            Now that I have children of my own some of these rules transitioned over to my parenting. Its so difficult to raise children now days in a society that has no grasp on how to treat people. We have three different parenting scenarios one is that you have kids raising kids. Another one is you have parents who are grown adults acting like big kids who want their cake and to eat it too. Then you have those parents who try and raise up a family with morals and expectations. Now don't get me wrote g people in these three categories can intertwine but for the most part they all kind of play their own roles.
           Well my son that is school age came home and informed me that his friend was talking inappropriately on the bus. He was being disrespectful to different genders and come to find out earlier this year his friend was also being disrespectful towards me and another women. My son came out and informed me of this and the first thing out of his mouth when he told me was mom what he said was very disrespectful. WOW is all I could think when he said that. Wow in a too way that my child knows how to treat people and women regardless of age. I had a moment of proudness of him. He is only 8 but he is already 10 steps ahead of the game. One day a women will see what he has to offer and its because he will know how to speak to a women's heart.
              Him and I discussed it and I just reinforce to my son that everyone comes in all shapes, sizes and skin tones but we are all people and we all have feelings. I can only hope that by this society that we now call "normal" that his kind, sweet, and respectful self isn't squashed or hindered by all these children who need the guidance and higher expectations for how they should behave.

forgiveness

            My 8 year old I have made a comment towards me that has had me thinking ever since he mentioned it.  He has been picked on a lot especially on the bus and that makes me sad to hear that when he comes home.  Well we were talking about praying for those who hurt us and that maybe they will stop being so mean to you.  He looks as my husband and I with a serious face and says they don't deserve a second chance.  He has been really hurt by these kids on the bus and we tell him they will stop picking on you if you don't let it get to you.  So my husband and I started talking about Jesus and how he went through ridicule and people calling him names and such.  We told him that when He was up on that cross he said forgive them father for they know not what they do.  Everyone deserves a second chance, everyone deserves to be forgiven even if it's just you forgiving them without going up to that person and telling them all they have done wrong.  Once we let go of our hurt feelings those people can no longer hurt us.  If those people get a place to stay in your head and heart then they will be there until you say enough is enough.
          My poor child has been dealing with more than my husband or myself even realize.  I just with that one day he will figure it out and realize that life is more than the bully's that he will encounter throughout his life.  We all have feelings that flow along the lines as this.  It's difficult for me to sit here and tell him life will get better but that there will always be obstacles he will have to learn to overcome.  My husband and I have a lot of work cut out for us in the next couple of months with teaching him how to overcome situations that make him angry or sad.

called or not called

            What does it truly mean to be called to do something or be someone?  What kinds of sacrifices are you and I willing to make to be the people we are called to be?  What have you or I been called to be but haven't answered that call?  These are just some of the things going through my mind lately.  Some are called to be doctors, teachers, stay at home parents, and the list goes on and on.  Some people are chosen by God himself to have the blessing of being able to have children of their own.  Some people are called to be missionaries and pastors.  I sit and ponder these questions often.  Sometimes life isn't handed to us on a silver platter, sometimes life comes at you at 90 miles per hour.  Are you ready?  Am I ready?
            I don't think I can stress enough that when someone is called to be someone or do something God is calling you for a purpose.  In these purposes sometimes there are tears that are shed and sometimes there are moments where you don't understand why it's all happening the way you never imagined life would turn out.    When we as people look on others lives and think we have it all figured out, or when they are called to be someone completely different we sit here and judge them and look at them like they are crazy.
           If you would have asked me 6 or more years ago what I wanted in life I would have told you to be a wife, and a mother.  I got the wife part but the mother of a biological child has not been in my cards that God has given me.  I was called later on to adopt.  I will say this, that this road is not an easy road to travel.  It is not an ideal way, for most, to start a family.  It is a road that has a lot of bumps and a ride that most of the time you want to get off of.  On this journey I have found myself asking is this the right thing for me?  What is God thinking I am not worthy enough to do this job?  Then he reminds me that I am not alone.  I am not called to venture out on my own and that He is always there to guide me and carry me through anything and everything.
           In my experience with adoption people always say they are for those who can do it but then again they act as if that's not the case.  They look down on birth families for giving up their children and how can someone do that.  I will admit before fully having my eyes opened I felt that way.  Before I tried putting myself in their shoes.  It is a road that these people have to travel and it is a heartbreaking one.  One that most people cannot even imagine.  I look at my three children that I have.  Two that are currently adopted and one that will be shortly and I cannot imagine the questions my third one (we will call him P)  is feeling.  He is 8 and is aware that his life is about to change in a way that he wasn't prepared for.  I was not aware of how my life will turn out and I put my trust in the Lord to lead me down the road I am called to face.  This little boy has to experience things beyond most people's comprehension.
            My son P has been called in a way that can help hundreds of children, but right now doesn't feel that way to him.  Right now it feels to him like he is losing a life he knew so well and a life that he isn't/wasn't prepared to have swiped right from under him.  I can completely see how people would take a negative stance on adoption after reading this part.  But see you have to look and see where he was to where God has brought him.  God has a plan for his life, a calling for his life.  A calling that I am not called to fulfill but by following the call God placed in my life I am helping my 8 year old fill his calling in the future.  No matter how many times I am uncertain of my future and his future I know that once my son lets God in and take over and be in complete control of his life P will do great and amazing things.
           So the sacrifices that I have had to make for these children in my home and now deep in my heart and that are my life I would say are were more than worth it.  I would give these children the world if I could.  Like any parent I too have my struggles and frustrations with the children and their behavior but to see the work God has for these children is just mind blowing.  To see where these children will go and how far God will take them makes it a path in my life that I can survive and continue to do.


"Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election.  For if you do these things you will never stumble."  2 Peter 1:10