Two years

         My daughter will be two, TWO.  How can two years fly by so quickly.  It seems like only a few months have gone by.  I have been noticing how much older she has become not just because her birthday is coming up but the way she looks, acts, and even how to plays with toys.  She is becoming an independent little girl who knows what she wants in life and there is no stopping her.  Nora is a girl that once she sets her mind on something she is going to get it.  Now I love that about her to a degree of course because when I ask her not to do that she does it anyway because she wants to and that's all there is to it.  Nora is a package, a package well lets say, that if opened there is no returning it.  She is a sweet little person that has such a big heart.  When she smiles her entire face lights up.  She is a precious person and one that I would not give back for anything.  I can see her doing great things as long as that temper of hers doesn't over shine her big heart. 

        Did I mention she was a red head?  Now I know that it doesn't technically have anything to do with the color of ones hair to determine ones personality.  I really think it's that saying that red heads have a temper and it's a fiery one, that parents just tend to tell their children that so that's how the child acts.  Who knows maybe it does and I just don't believe that.  Anyway for as sweet as this child can be she can be just as stubborn.  She is the light of our lives and we want her to flourish in a way that is pleasing to God.  We want her to grow up reaching people her father and I never could.  If you would have come to me two years ago telling me we would be having a little girl who we would love so much that we would give our lives for her I would have thought you were crazy.  

          We had our first son and we were happy with where things were.  I knew I wanted more but I never would have thought my two children would be 14 months apart in age.  Having them that close was definitely a fun experience for our family.  They are so close in age that they grow up and they will always have that friend (hopefully for life).  I say hopefully because you just never know how life will turn out but as of now I can tell you those two are inseparable.  I love having them so close in age because they learn from each other and they learn, good things and bad, but none the less my children have definitely learned how to work with other children.  

          Back to my daughter though, I would have to say that God has chosen this little girl for our family in a way that my husband and myself never could have imagine.  She may not be from a genetic standpoint with how she is ours, but she is ours regardless of DNA.  What makes her ours is that we would give our lives for her, we would put ourselves on the back burner for her until it's time for her to flourish on her own.  Our daughter has definitely given us a run for our money when it comes to persistence and everything that comes along with having a daughter.   I can say this about our daughter that whatever she decides to do with her life you better believe she will accomplish it.  She has a lot of will power and I can also say watch out world because in 16 short years my daughter will be gunning for you.  That is my spunky little girl and I am proud of her even at the small age of two she has a lot of promising potential that when unleashed it will be difficult to rein back in.  The only thing I have to say is look at that face....it definitely says it all.

When is it okay.........

            So I have struggled with being a mom of an older child.  My husband and I have sat and talked through what we find for certain activities for their ages.  So lets just use Facebook as an example.  We have an 8 year old and we want him to learn things that are age appropriate and such but we also want to keep him safe.  Do we let him have a Facebook page to let him have freedom?  Well my thing is with Facebook is that one it's very public so whatever you post can have unexpected repercussions for you.  Such as legal ramifications depending on age.  Sometimes it might be just a safety thing.  Not just that Facebook has their own legal requirement which I think is a great idea.
         At the age of 13 you learn more of what's right and what's wrong.  You will learn more about rules and consequences.  Not just that but you learn about the dangers of your actions, words, and sometimes your photos.  So my husband and I have talked through this and we think it's weird that a parent would lie about their child's age just to get them an account.  Some may argue it's to stay connected with family and they monitor their usage etc.  But what are you in the long run teaching your child, to bend the rules just to get what you want.  So will you find it acceptable if your child is, lets say 15 or so and they get a fake ID to go drinking would you be okay with that?  I mean in all honesty isn't that what you kind of did for your child to get on the social network that can easily be hacked and pedi-files looking at their photo's or chatting with them?  Yes kids under the age of 13 are not (hopefully not) drinking and what not  but where do you draw the line.  It's like monkey see monkey do right.  They do what you do and sometimes they do what you don't want them to because they still see you doing it.
             I want my child to have the freedom to enjoy life and not have to be thrown into a life where they expect them to grow up faster than they should.  My 8 year old will not have a Facebook account until he is at least 13 years old if not older because he is not ready for that kind of responsibility.  I just read something today that grandparents will no longer receive handwritten letters from their grandchildren it will be through text, email, or Facebook.  That saddens me to think that children are going to be growing up in a day in age where they wont be able to practice writing because it's all online.  I can say I enjoy getting emails and such but what really means a lot to me is to receive a letter or card via mail.  To see that people would go that extra mile to write on it, fill out the address line and stick it in the mailbox.  Call me old call me sentimental but to me to make someone feel worth something to you is to go that extra mile and not just do something because it's easy and only take 2 seconds as appose to 5 minutes.  If you cannot spare 5 minutes out of your day then something should change.  
            So my son will not have parents who will lie for him just to have his own access to a world he is not prepared for.  Why rush your child into a situation they aren't prepared for or put them in unnecessary danger when they will have plenty of opportunity the older they get?  If you have an account for your child that is under the age of 13 that's your choice and a personal decision but for me and my household we want our child to know that there are rules in place for a reason and sometimes we may not like it but it's life.  I know there are rules as an adult I could live without but we still have to follow them regardless of our feelings towards them.

fell in love

          We have all heard the saying, don't forget the reasons you fell in love with someone.  I have been thinking about that today and I cannot help but think how that is true.....to an extent.  Those of us that are in a relationship and find the love of our lives we think we are fortunate to get that opportunity.  Well I agree we should remember why we fell in love with that person, however what do we do when that person is no longer the person we fell in love with?  That's where being in there for better for worse comes in.  Sticking with that person through thick and thin.
           I cannot wait to grow old with the love of my life and be able to experience things so many of us will not be able to because we gave up on our marriage.  I love my husband with all of my heart and with all that I am.  I have loved him for as long as I can remember.  My life without him would not be the same and I wouldn't have it any other way.  We as people forget that once we get what we want, in this case the person we love, we don't feel the need to keep trying.  We don't see the need to keep finding ways to make our spouses happy.  It's a difficult road and a road that will ultimately be less traveled than that of the world we now know.
           I was thinking today how many marriages could be saved with couples trying to not only remember what made them fall in love in the first place, but finding new reasons to love the one they are with.  What if we start asking ourselves questions during the day such as, what would my spouse appreciate today?  What would speak volumes to him to let him know that I couldn't help but think of him?  What can I do to keep spontaneity in my marriage?  A relationship cannot survive on routine and just going through the motions.  We need to show our loved ones who comes first and who means the world to us.  What if we ask questions such as who is my spouse now and what are his likes and dislikes?  We need to keep communication open and honest.  Once the communication goes there goes the key to the window of your loved ones heart.  If we allow that window to close even the slightest there is always a bird that can slide in and start making a home where it doesn't belong.
          Are you doing all you can to show your spouse that they are the reason your love exists?  I know I can work on how my love shows through and I know there are always days where I slack on spontaneity.  I want to strive to keep my marriage alive and living a life where other people can naturally see the love and bond between my husband and myself.   Now I know how hard marriage can be and I know how difficult it is when we add children into the mix, but when you have struggles and tough times that speaks to your character as an individual and also as a couple.  I don't want people thinking I am anti-divorce that's not it at all.  If you have tried all that you can and you still cannot move passed your differences and your spouse cheated or was abusive that is an entirely different story.  I am just pro-marriage and remembering the reason and making new reasons why you love the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
          There was a reason you chose to spend your life with that person in the first place.  There is a reason why you wanted them to be the parent of your child(ren).  They cannot be all bad if they stole your heart in the first place.
     

old school for the new school

Raising children is hard. When I was a child we were taught to be respectful, to be self entertained, and most of all seen and not heard. Now I cannot complain because of how I was raised I would say I am a better person for it! It gave me a sense of respect for not only older people but even people from my own generation. It taught me how to not have to rely on people to keep me entertained or keep me busy. I think the rule of being seen and not heard also gave us an advantage to be able to observe how one should and should not interact with others. You can learn so much that way.
            Now that I have children of my own some of these rules transitioned over to my parenting. Its so difficult to raise children now days in a society that has no grasp on how to treat people. We have three different parenting scenarios one is that you have kids raising kids. Another one is you have parents who are grown adults acting like big kids who want their cake and to eat it too. Then you have those parents who try and raise up a family with morals and expectations. Now don't get me wrote g people in these three categories can intertwine but for the most part they all kind of play their own roles.
           Well my son that is school age came home and informed me that his friend was talking inappropriately on the bus. He was being disrespectful to different genders and come to find out earlier this year his friend was also being disrespectful towards me and another women. My son came out and informed me of this and the first thing out of his mouth when he told me was mom what he said was very disrespectful. WOW is all I could think when he said that. Wow in a too way that my child knows how to treat people and women regardless of age. I had a moment of proudness of him. He is only 8 but he is already 10 steps ahead of the game. One day a women will see what he has to offer and its because he will know how to speak to a women's heart.
              Him and I discussed it and I just reinforce to my son that everyone comes in all shapes, sizes and skin tones but we are all people and we all have feelings. I can only hope that by this society that we now call "normal" that his kind, sweet, and respectful self isn't squashed or hindered by all these children who need the guidance and higher expectations for how they should behave.

forgiveness

            My 8 year old I have made a comment towards me that has had me thinking ever since he mentioned it.  He has been picked on a lot especially on the bus and that makes me sad to hear that when he comes home.  Well we were talking about praying for those who hurt us and that maybe they will stop being so mean to you.  He looks as my husband and I with a serious face and says they don't deserve a second chance.  He has been really hurt by these kids on the bus and we tell him they will stop picking on you if you don't let it get to you.  So my husband and I started talking about Jesus and how he went through ridicule and people calling him names and such.  We told him that when He was up on that cross he said forgive them father for they know not what they do.  Everyone deserves a second chance, everyone deserves to be forgiven even if it's just you forgiving them without going up to that person and telling them all they have done wrong.  Once we let go of our hurt feelings those people can no longer hurt us.  If those people get a place to stay in your head and heart then they will be there until you say enough is enough.
          My poor child has been dealing with more than my husband or myself even realize.  I just with that one day he will figure it out and realize that life is more than the bully's that he will encounter throughout his life.  We all have feelings that flow along the lines as this.  It's difficult for me to sit here and tell him life will get better but that there will always be obstacles he will have to learn to overcome.  My husband and I have a lot of work cut out for us in the next couple of months with teaching him how to overcome situations that make him angry or sad.